Sorry it has been so long since I have posted but I am still trying to get back on track with both my health and my eating. I still have days where I feel bad, and it is harder to eat well on those days, but at least I feel better than I was feeling. I ate very badly over the holidays and gained quite a few pounds, several of those pounds seem to not want to leave again. It is very frustrating how quickly you can gain weight but how very long it takes to get those same pounds to come back off!
I am not trying to improve my eating only to lose weight, although that is why I started looking into eating healthy to begin with. : ) It is funny how you start doing something for one reason and end up doing it for a totally different reason. That is kind of how my whole relationship with food has been. My journey with food has been long and exhausting, not that I would change anything, but it has not been easy. Of course I am someone that really appreciates those things that I have really had to work for. Maybe that is why this has been so difficult .
I have come to realize that I am addicted to food. I have said before that it was like I was addicted or something but not until now did I realize just how true that statement was. Whenever I eat certain foods, trigger foods, it is like I lose all control. I just can't seem to stop eating. I can understand why it so hard for a drug addict, alcoholic or any other addict to give up their addiction. I know that all addictions are different but there is a similarity when them, too. Having A piece of cake for me is like an alcoholic have A drink. I know this and yet I keep on doing it!
I feel like I stick out everywhere that I go, I am always different from everyone else. This is nothing new to me, as I have always been different, but food is the one area where I was not different. Until now that is. There are temptation every where I go and what seems to be the hardest is the fact that everyone says that is ok to have (fill in the blank), that it is just (fill in the blank) and that they eat like this and are perfectly healthy.
Now I am not trying to get you to change the way that you eat but why do you insist on explaining to me why I am wrong for eating the way that I do? It really hurts that I have to deal with this with christian friends and family. I know that I probably sound bitter but I am really more sad than anything. I can say that this has changed the way I treat other people and for that I am truly grateful. I am going to start posting more about what I am eating now and even a few recipes, although I am really bad about writing down amounts, and I look forward to reading your comments.
Words of inspiration:
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